Are you making the wrong identity your secret one?
This past week we saw the premiere of the new Superman movie. (I will save my review for another time) but it brings up an age old question (in geekdom, anyway :)
Is Superman the secret identity? Or is Clark Kent the secret identity?
And of course, in the world of social media, profiles and internet introductions, I couldn’t help think of it in terms of our own lives.
Let’s start with my bio. You can read some of it in the “About” section of this Substack. (Go ahead. I’ll wait.)
Very often people say to me, “Cool bio!” To which I think, Of course it is! I WROTE IT TO SHOWCASE THE COOL STUFF!!!
If I was being THOROUGH it would say, “Kevin Shinick is an Emmy winning writer, after years of self doubt, who has achieved this and that, in between lying on the floor wondering what he’s doing wrong, followed by some cool gigs and a long stretch of time in therapy.”
And that’s okay. Because that (unspoken part) is my SECRET identity.
Now whether you think Superman is the secret identity or Clark Kent is up to you. But in terms of career and life goals I think we can all agree that your SUCCESSFUL self is obviously the hero, right? So by default, we make the person BEHIND the success the secret identity. Cause, really, the Kevin that’s sobbing on the floor should probably be the secret one, am I right?
But to be fair, I think they BOTH need their recognition.
In this day and age, very few people know the truth about one another. We see friends posting pics on cool vacations and with important people, but the truth is…
We’re all the same.
We’re all just trying to survive. We’re not better than one another. We just have different experiences. And it’s important to understand that because the FOMO you’re experiencing can set you back. It can take a psychological toll with the mere ILLUSION of success when in fact, the only hype you should be believing is your own.
I’m going to say that again: It’s OKAY to believe your OWN HYPE!
In fact, I think it’s ESSENTIAL. This world is crazy enough and I think we can use all the help we can get.
Remember that scene in the Matrix when Neo is offered the blue pill (which keeps him safely protected in his world of ignorance) or the red pill (which strips away the illusion and lets him face reality?)
He winds up choosing the red pill, right?
But later we see Joe Pantoliano’s character go back to taking the blue pill because he’d rather live in a fantasy world then face the harsh reality? Well, I’m going to be honest with you…
I’m with with Joe!
The number of times I was told AFTER getting a particular job, WHO I was up against or how GREAT the odds were of me getting said job, would have put me in a tailspin beforehand and I’m sure I would’ve talked myself out of it.
But blissfully not knowing the specifics allowed me to be myself and retain my confidence.
So LIVE YOUR HERO’S JOURNEY free from distractions!
I’m not saying live in denial. If you refuse to get a job and you’re living in squalor, don’t fantasize that you’re fine. Just protect yourself from the tough stuff, because sometimes those are the things that keep us paralyzed.
But here’s the other side of the coin.
I also think it’s important to be authentic.
Now if you’re in your twenties and reading this maybe you already know this. I see more Gen Z’ers sobbing on Youtube and expressing raw emotions that it makes me think perhaps they don’t have a problem showing their secret identities.
As long as it’s authentic.
Because that’s the key word. That’s what’s going to help you relate with one another and that’s what is going to deliver true happiness.
So my THREE bits of advice for this week are:
DON’T be afraid to show your true self!
BELIEVE your own hype!
DON’T believe OTHER people’s hype!
Even the BEST, most SUCCESSFUL people do this, so don’t feel like an imposter.
When I was starting out in the Kevin Shinick business I took a lot of different jobs to keep me afloat and to keep me in the field I was hovering around. And one of those jobs involved the incomparable Carol Channing in her Broadway revival of Hello, Dolly!
And if you can believe it, my job was…
To start Carol Channing’s standing ovations!
Seems ridiculous, right?
And before you read even ONE MORE WORD, let me tell you right now that I was NEVER needed! I was NEVER the first person on my feet, because Carol Channing was a LEGEND! And a STAR! And people knew it.
I knew it.
And if I didn’t know it beforehand, I certainly understood it every night when that woman entered that stage as Dolly Levi.
Even in her EIGHTIES!!!
But maybe she needed to believe her own hype as well. She was human, after all. And having a safety net probably gave her some freedom.
But in the theatre, there’s a certain STAR QUALITY that exists in certain performers that doesn’t necessarily exist in other mediums. (Not to say it CAN’T exist in other mediums, but something magical happens when they appear on stage.)
In my opinion, Nathan Lane has it. Chita Rivera had it. And Carol Channing had it.
But sometimes I’m sure even THEY need to be reminded of it.
I’m sharing this because I want you to know that even the greats need to believe their own hype. And you should too!
I have known, befriended and worked with a lot of celebrities in my life, and one of the greatest observations I ever made regarding celebrity is (To quote People Magazine): They’re just like us. We complain about the same things, we’re striving for similar goals and we all want to be appreciated.
Sound familiar? That’s because, at the heart of it all, we all just want to survive.
And THAT’S why we shouldn’t keep ANY part of our identity a SECRET!
POSTMORTEM
When I was (unnecessarily) hired to start Ms. Channing’s standing ovations, the producers brought me back stage at Hello Dolly to meet her. I was excited because I had never met her before, although I was well aware of her legendary persona and, true to form, she did not disappoint. She had her back to me when I entered her dressing room and when the producer said, “Carol, this is Kevin.” She spun around, offering up a bowl of everyone’s favorite yellow-spongecake treats and cried out in her signature, high-pitched, clarion, “TWINKIEEEEEEEEEEEEE?”
I politely declined, having just received a treat so sweet it couldn’t be topped. (Aside from getting her autograph, that is. :)
HOSTMORTEM
Speaking of hype, I am proud to report that I have officially finished the 216 page script for HOST MORTEM. Damien has finished the art for issue #1 and has already begun issue #3 and Andrea is working on Issue #2 as we speak. This was a beast to write, but I slayed that dragon and it feels so good.
